Would You Rather...

Would you rather be lost in the wilderness alone, or lost in a sea of people on a busy city sidewalk when nature calls? I would prefer to sort things out in the wilderness. Searching for that perfectly fallen tree and fresh leaves is a much more appealing scenario then using a seldom cleaned public restroom. At least in the bush there is never any worry of running out of leaves, and if the worst were to happen, there are no human witnesses. Being caught on a busy city sidewalk is an entirely different matter.

Straining to maintain your composure while casually waddling along, you begin your search for a toilet. The frustration and anxiety rises as you discover that the restaurants and shops only allow patrons to use their facilities. Inevitably, you must settle for the dreaded public restroom. 

Public restrooms typically don't present well. The smells, the graffiti, and the broken locks all contribute to the perception of insanitary conditions. Although, not always your first choice, in emergencies it is often your only choice. Steph has, however, found the upper echelon of public restrooms. She found herself in a bind one Sunday afternoon while running errands in the nearby suburb of Subiaco, and was directed by a shopkeeper to the nearest public restroom. It was a stainless steel stand-alone building adjacent to the train platform. Immediately she realized that this restroom (ExeLoo) was different. There weren't any door handles, knobs, or hinges; only a button. When pressed the door quickly slid away revealing the toilet and sink behind. A 'traffic light' on the building switched from green to red indicating the stall was no longer vacant. After entering, she pushed another button to close the door and lock herself in the toilet stall. At that moment a voice sounded to greet her: "Hello and welcome to ExeLoo. The maximum stay of your visit is 10 minutes, upon which time the door will automatically open, or you may press the green button to open the door anytime."  Then the song What the World Needs Now started to play:

"What the world needs now
Is love, sweet love..."

Steph recalls that in her amazement she had nearly forgotten what she had come there to do. Her amazement was soon replaced by panic. Was 10 minutes going to be long enough? If not, the door would fling open and expose her to the crowds on the train station platform! And what were all these other buttons? Curiously she started pressing to find out. One button controlled the height of the toilet seat, another to dispense the toilet paper, another to provide a clean toilet seat, and another to open the door if you didn't require the full 10 minutes. But where was the button to flush the toilet? There wasn't one. The toilet would only flush once you had activated the motion sensors of the hand washing station. The hand washing station consisted of three  motion sensors (1) to dispense soap, (2) to turn the water faucet on and simultaneously flush the toilet, and (3) to start the hand dryer.

To truly appreciate these particulars, we've found a YouTube video of the exact public restroom in action! Enjoy your Exeloo experience!

All in all, this is a very impressive attempt to rebuild the poor reputation of the public restroom. Sure, the walls were still covered with graffiti, but it somehow appeared more like art and less like the acts of vandals. Because of Steph's positive experience, she has encouraged me to use that public restroom also. Mainly because she wanted to know if the song played in the men's stall was the same as in the women's. Unfortunately, it was. We often joke about the song selection and feel that it would be more appropriate if, after the warning of the 10 minute maximum stay, the song Lose Yourself by Eminem started to play:

"...You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo..."


I guess you can't always get what you want... but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need.